Death and Back Again: The Life of Gipsy Danger
by reaper with no name
Summary: A retelling of the movie's events from a different perspective.
1. Phallic Symbols

To say that Gipsy Danger was excited when the Anchorage Shatterdome's doors opened was an understatement.

"Yes! Fight number five! Maybe after this one I'll finally be able to get those new designer boots! And maybe a new tattoo! Maybe then those Mark IVs will finally notice me! Or, even better, Cherno Alpha..."

"Gipsy, your orders are to hold the Miracle Mile off the coast of Anchorage," came the orders from LOCCENT. But that was an issue for her pilots. Gipsy had other concerns.

"I should really get a new coat of paint. But what color should I go for? I remember reading that red was in this year, but blue has always been my color. And I don't want people to think I'm like that hussy Crimson Typhoon. That rumor of her and three other Jaegers...I believe it! She's just slutty enough to do something like that. But I'm not like her at all!"

Her external monologue continued as she walked. Back at LOCCENT, everyone decided (on their own) that now was a great time for a coffee break.

After a fairly long walk, Gipsy realized she had gone too far. But her journey had not been in vain.

"Hey, a perfectly good ship!" she remarked as she picked it up. "Why would someone throw away such a perfectly good decoration? I mean, it's not that pretty now, but I bet with a little polish and some redecorating, it would make a nice gift. I'll just take it with me back to the Shatterd-ah?!"

Before she could finish her sentence, she noticed the massive thing in front of her.

"Oh my God, I've never seen one so big before! I thought it was an urban legend! Ugh, I hope I never have to deal with one like that. I bet it would hurt going in. Why do men care so much about that any-"

And then lightning flashed.

"Oh, it's just a Kaiju. I'm sorry about that. The dark and water made you look like a-"

"Yes, I know. It's quite all right, madam. Happens all the time."

Despite the Kaiju's polite words, Gipsy was suddenly acutely aware of how much bigger he was than her. And how dark it was out here. And how alone she was out here. She unconsciously stiffened. She didn't want to fight this Kaiju here. She wanted to get out of there with the boat.

"Well, I don't want to keep you, Mr..."

"Knifehead. Walter Cunningham Knifehead."

"-Mr Knifehead, so I'll just be heading off n-" she prepared to take a step backward.

"Oh, but you simply can't leave just yet," the Kaiju insisted, taking a step forward. "You still have my boat. Terribly sorry for not mentioning it earlier."

"Your what?" she looked down and realized belatedly that the boat was still in her hand, terrified crew and all.

"Yes, my boat. You see, I have been chasing that boat for quite some time. I planned on cooking it tonight for dinner. If you would just hand it over, I would be happy to have you join-"

No doubt about it. Gipsy dodged the hand that had been coming towards her and came back with a solid right hook.

"Rapist! Rapist!" she screeched as she struck the Kaiju again and again. "Somebody help me! Rapist!"

"No, you stupid girl!" Knifehead insisted as she attacked. "I am happily married and need that boat so I can have a nice dinner with my wi-Wait, where is my boat?"

Gipsy looked down at her hands and belatedly realized she wasn't carrying the boat any more.

"Probably...at the bottom of the ocean by now..."

"Well, then," Knifehead remarked. "I suppose you have robbed me of a meal, then."

And then, he was there. The distance between them had vanished.

"So I shall devour you instead!"

His jaws came right for her face, but she blocked them with her arm.

"See! See?! I knew it! You _are_ trying to rape me!"

One titanic push later, and the Kaiju was away from her. Gipsy Danger's personal space had, for the moment, been restored.

"No, you stupid girl!" Knifehead raged. "Not every Kaiju you meet on a dark and stormy night intends to do such dreadful things to you! I am merely going to eat you in a quite literal sense!"

"Like I would ever listen to a rapist like you!" Gipsy exclaimed in righteous fury. She was a woman, she had power, and she was not going to be a victim.

She brought out her plasma cannon and resisted the urge to shout about charging her laser using the poorest grammar imaginable.

"Stop or I'll shoot!" she warned.

"Your hollow bluff will not stop me," Knifehead remarked as he approached. "We both know it is illegal to discharge heavy artillery in international waters."

That was when she let loose a volley of shots and dropped the Kaiju like last year's fashions.

"Silly Kaiju. Americans don't respect international law. Now, what was I out here to do again?"

As if in answer, the comms link opened and LOCCENT began berating her for going so far out to sea, reminding her that her orders had been to stay at the Miracle Mile.

As her pilots explained the situation, Gipsy looked back at where the Kaiju had fallen. "Oh, right. Well, I did get the Kaiju. And I think I might have even saved the people on that boat. Well, maybe...Possibly...Until they drown, at the very lea-Oh, wait, there it is!"

Indeed, the boat and its passengers were safe and sound. Yes, this had been a very good day for Gipsy. She had killed her fifth Kaiju and saved a boat. Maybe they would let her keep it?

Then, over the comm-links, she faintly heard something about the "Kaiju signature rising", which gave her pause. Gipsy knew that happened to men when they were asleep, but when they were dead?

"Gipsy, that Kaiju is still alive!"

Well, that was different, then. And (if its signature was rising) also quite disturbing. What kind of man became aroused from being repeatedly punched and shot by a plasma cannon?

And then came the blow. Gipsy had done her fair share of slapping over the years, but this was the first time it had ever been done to her.

"You miserable sow!" Knifehead somehow roared politely as his jaws snapped at her. "That was quite painful! I do believe I shall-"

"-Be shot again!" Gipsy finished, brandishing her second plasma cannon.

But before she could fire, disaster struck. Or at least, that's what she decided she was going to call that giant blade on his head from now on as it sank into her arm.

"No," Knifehead denied, as his polite tone made his words all the colder. "I shall penetrate you."

With a flick of the Kaiju's neck, what remained of Gipsy's arm fell away.

"You...said you weren't a rapist..."

It was odd what a woman thought about when she was in shock.

"I am not," the Kaiju deadpanned. "But there is more than one way to penetrate a woman."

Time stood still as the claw came for her eye. Then from that side she could see only black. She felt something tear loose, and from her remaining eye caught a mass of metal being pulled away from her skull. On the end of it was something small and white.

She couldn't make out what it was. But she knew.

Part of her was gone.

What was that word? The one you used to...disagree? Disbelieve? Hate? She didn't even know any more. Her mind was fading, and with it her ability to think clearly.

"...Nn...ooh..."

"Yes," the Kaiju asserted.

Disaster struck again, this time piercing her breast and sending scraps of metal falling to the waters below.

"I do believe the appropriate phrase for this occasion is 'Omnomnom'," Knifehead quipped as his jaws sank into her hull.

All she had was being swallowed up by the ocean. Her arm, her pilot, her life.

She was dying.

But she would not be a victim.

Her remaining plasma cannon flickered to life.

The beast continued to tear off chunks of her hull, but still her cannon charged.

She would not go quietly into the darkness. The monster would pay for what it had done. What little remained of her deep down inside would make sure of that.

She fired.


	2. A Disturbing Lack of Jokes

And so she waited.

Everything after that pivotal moment was a blur. Maybe she had been sent to Oblivion Bay, resting place of Jaegers and gateway to the afterlife. Or maybe she had been left in the sea. Or did she make it to shore?

She couldn't remember much before they brought her to Hong Kong for the operation.

New arm. New eye. New armor. New muscles. New reactor.

From the outside, the operation had been a complete success. She probably looked better than new.

But part of her died that day. What she had lost could never be given back.

People and Jaegers came and went around her, but she was only dimly aware of it. She was a living corpse, a wreck with new paint.

And so she sat, comatose, for an eternity.

But nothing lasts forever. Not even eternity.

The first moment was confusing. She was active. Aware.

She brought up her hands, stared at them for a moment, and made them into fists. Yes, this was no dream. She was awake again.

But how? Part of her had returned, that much she could tell. But what was this other part of her that she had never experienced? It seemed so new to her. But how could she not have ever felt fully half of herself before?

And that was when it all came rushing back to her. The ocean. The boat. The arm. The claw. The cannon. The part of her that was gone forever.

The Kaiju.

Her cannon roared to life.

He was here. Somewhere. She knew it. She had killed him enough to know that he wouldn't stay dead. Or perhaps he was dead, and there was another one. There were always more. That was why she existed; to kill them. That was why they had awakened her again. So where was it?

The cannon charged up.

Was it in front of her? Part of her didn't see anything unusual, but that unfamiliar part of her could have sworn there was a Kaiju right in front of her. And even if it wasn't there, it had to be somewhere. With danger appearing to be all around her, the best place to start was right in front of her.

She gave the order to fire, but nothing happened. She tried again, but her body refused to obey.

Slowly, her arm lowered to her side. Why couldn't she shoot? Why couldn't she see the Kaiju? She didn't understand any of this. Why was she...

...feeling so...

...tired...?


	3. The World's Largest Benchwarmer

In time she came to understand. The part of her that had been lost had been replaced. She had been activated again to see if she could still fight.

And she had failed the test.

As it turned out, she wasn't the only one to have fallen. So many had died, in fact, that there were only four of them left. Striker Eureka, Cherno Alpha, Crimson Typhoon, and herself.

But really, she didn't count. She couldn't fight a stiff breeze, much less a Kaiju.

"Suck it up," Striker had said. "Accept what happened and move on."

Striker didn't seem to understand. But why would she? She had never experienced anything like this.

Cherno and Crimson were much kinder. But Cherno, as handsome as he was, just didn't seem to know what to say. Not that he ever said much at all (she used to consider that part of his charm; the strong, silent type and all that). But she didn't need someone to offer her silence. She had enough of that by herself these days.

It was Crimson Typhoon, of all Jaegers, who knew what to say. It was she who kept telling Gipsy the latest gossip, fashion, and news in the world.

But even as it made her feel somewhat better, it also made her feel guilty.

All this time, she had thought and said so many hurtful things about Crimson. And none of it was true. She may have been flirty, but that rumor about her and those other three Jaegers was almost certainly a malicious lie. And even if it wasn't, what right did she have to judge? So what if those three arms made her asymmetrical? She was a wonderful Jaeger with all the same interests Gipsy used to have (well, except for basketball; Gipsy had no idea why Crimson liked it so much). And she was treating Gipsy like a friend.

Maybe the next time they spoke, Gipsy could humor her and compare plasmacasters. Gipsy owed her that much, at least.

However, it looked like that would have to wait, because the attack siren was going off.

She watched each Jaeger as they cast off.

"See you when we get back, Gipsy," Striker told her. "Maybe next time you can join us in kicking some Kaiju butt!"

Cherno simply gave her a respectful nod. Most of his communication was nonverbal. But by now she had learned to translate:

"Take care."

Funny. Him telling her to "take care", when he was the one going out there to risk his life. Typical, really. Why were men always like that?

That just left Crimson.

"So, I heard this nasty rumor about Shira. You know, that new popstar I told you about? Yeah, turns out she might be posing topless in a magazine! I'll tell you all about it after we get back from fighting these two Kaiju, okay?"

"Sure, Crimson," Gipsy forced out. "I'd...like that."

"Then it's settled! And don't think you can weasel your way out of it, either!" Crimson's eye went out of focus enthusiastically, as if to wink, and then left with the others.

For a brief moment, Gipsy felt almost happy, as she mulled over Crimson's words.

And then one particular part of those words sank in.

"..._Two_ Kaiju?"


	4. The Sound of Death

She strained to hear what was going on. But in the end, the sound of death turned out to be silence.

Crimson died before she ever had a chance to scream. It was worse, in a sense. What you imagine is always worse than the reality, after all.

Cherno was underwater when he was taken. He went as quietly as he had lived.

Finally, there was Striker. She wasn't dead, yet, but she might as well have been. She had been paralyzed, and it probably had something to do with that wave of blue lightning. Crimson had told her once that the two of them were deathly allergic to that kind of stuff.

Either way, Striker's dying screams would be just as silent as the others.

And here Gipsy was, in the safety of the shatterdome, just as powerless as she.

This was wrong. If anyone should have been dying, it should have been her! She was the one who spent most of her life acting like an idiot!

But now she knew better! She was ready to fight! This time, for real! If only she could just move!

As if on cue, two figures in black appeared before her. She shouldn't have been able to tell who they were, but she instantly recognized them.

Supposedly, Coyote Tango had once said that a Jaeger was both herself and her pilots. Trying to define where one ended and the others began was like a human trying to pinpoint a specific brain cell as being "her". It was the pilots whose influence formed and shaped the Jaeger's consciousness. A Jaeger without her pilots was still herself, but she was still somehow "less" than she was when she had them, just as a sleeping human was "less" than she was when she was awake. The death of a pilot, then, was like a traumatic brain injury.

So what, then, did it mean to get a new pilot? Gipsy could somehow sense that the shorter one was that new part of her from that drift test, and she had no doubt that this new pilot would change her (if she hadn't already). But how much would it change her? Would she still be herself? Gipsy was still getting the hang of this "thinking" thing.

Still, that other part of her seemed to trust her, and that dead pilot from so long ago was gone. If she wanted to move on and do what she was created to do, what she wanted to do, she would have to accept this new pilot and whatever changes she brought.

Would she do what she was born to do, or remain stagnant?

It was an easy choice for any Jaeger to make, and Gipsy was no exception.

Those two figures in black were her.

And it was time.


	5. And There Was Much Swearing

Gipsy wasn't sure what she would see when she finally arrived at the Miracle Mile, but she probably should have known better. Crimson and Cherno were nowhere to be seen, probably swallowed by the waves. Striker still stood, but probably not for long, as the Kaiju called Leatherback raised its massive fists over his head.

Gipsy's determination transformed instantly into rage.

"HEY, ASSHAT!" she screamed.

"Oh, what is it now, honey?" Leatherback complained as he slowly turned around. "I thought we agreed that I would get to kill this-Hey, you're not my wife!"

The Jumphawks released her, and Gipsy landed.

"No, I'm not! But you're about to be a blue smear on a wall, shithead!"

"Well, I could use a new playmate," Leatherback remarked. "This one's a bit of a stiff. But I'll have you know I'm champion of the Kaiju Wrestling League. Are you sure you want a shot at the title?"

"Shut up, SHUT UP!" Gipsy yelled. "JUST GET OVER HERE AND FIGHT ME, YOU OVERGROWN HAMSTER!"

Leatherback shrugged. "All right, you asked for it."

Gipsy met the Kaiju's charge head on, pushed him back, and dodged around to his backside.

"You won't be needing this any more!" she exclaimed as she ripped off what she assumed was something important (given all the lightning flowing around it) from the Kaiju's back and threw it away.

"Ow! Hey! Hey! Foul! Where did you learn to dance?!" Leatherback protested before trapping her in a massive bear hug.

"First rule of dancing: Always face your partner!"

The Kaiju spun her around before throwing her high and wide.

Somehow, she ended up in the city, rolling through highways and light poles.

The Kaiju was trying to make a fool out of her.

She rolled to her feet and planted both her heels and palms firmly into the ground until she stopped. She was going to kill that monster!

"Ahhh, that was a good warm up." Leatherback said as he stepped onto the dock. "You know what the best part about killing Jaegers is? You all make such nice crumpling sounds as you break."

"SHUT YOUR FAT UGLY FACE BEFORE I TEAR YOU A NEW ASSHOLE!"

"Oh, such language. Is Pimp Daddy gonna have to slap a ho? I think so."

The ground shook as the Kaiju began its charge. On any other day, such a sight might have struck fear into her heart. But today, Gipsy was angry. This monster thought he could kill her friends and creators and crack jokes about it?!

She sprinted forward at full speed and activated her rear thrusters. Anyone watching that night would have sworn that Jaegers could fly.

"FUCK! YOU!"

Her fist smashed into the top of Leatherback's skull with the force of a god's hammer.

"THAT WAS FOR CRIMSON!" she yelled as she grabbed hold of the Kaiju's head.

"THIS IS FOR STRIKER!" she added as she delivered a punch to Leatherback's head.

"THIS IS FOR CHERNO!" Another punch.

And then Gipsy pulled her fist all the way back.

"AND THIS IS FOR ME!"

The rocket in her elbow ignited, propelling her fist into Leatherback's head with enough force to make reality itself shudder.

Leatherback went down.

"Oww. This isn't working. Maybe I should-Oh look, a crane!"

Leatherback came up swinging a broken construction crane.

"Looks like it's prop comedy night at the Improv!"

As the ground came up to meet her, Gipsy's rage continued to boil over.

Her fingers closed around some shipping containers.

"YOU WANNA IMPROVISE!? I CAN IMPROVISE!"

She smacked that smug smirk right off the Kaiju's face and smashed the containers against his head.

"Hey! That's no fai-"

She shut him up with her fist.

As the Kaiju's back was turned, Gipsy grabbed him under his shoulders and pulled him up into the air.

"YOU LIKE WRESTLING!? I CAN WRESTLE!"

She threw him as hard as she could, but Leatherback somehow landed on his feet.

"Hey, no jackin' my swag!"

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP!?" she screamed.

"You know what?" Leatherback mused, his voice raising a bit. "You really wanna die without a punchline? Fine by me!"

The enormous Kaiju lunged forward, crashing into Gipsy. She planted her feet firmly in the ground, but still she was being pushed back. The disgusting beast's claws were on her, trying to overwhelm her. It was the last straw.

"YOU WANNA CHARGE!? I CAN CHARGE, TOO!"

Her hand formed a cannon.

"MY PLASMA CANNON, THAT IS!"

"And you thought my jokes were ba-"

She cut him off with a volley of shots into his side. Most of them were striking indirectly, but she didn't care.

"GET! THE! FUCK! OFF! OF! ME!" she punctuated each word with another blast.

The Kaiju roared as his organs became molten. Or maybe he was making another joke. She wasn't paying attention any more.

At one point in the barrage, one of the Kaiju's arms came off. Good. It was about time one of them knew what it felt like.

Finally, after what felt like years, Leatherback stopped pushing. With a final shove, Gipsy sent the corpse to the ground.

But as she began walking away, memories of her last battle came to the surface, and her anger bubbled up again.

Gipsy spun around and unloaded four more shots into the carcass, leaving it a burning husk.

"AND THIS TIME STAY DEAD!"

Then she turned to the city.

"One bastard down. One more to go."


	6. Of Blades and Boatswords

Gipsy found the other one easily enough. The trail of screams and destruction was hard to miss.

If the sound of the street shuddering under her footsteps didn't give away her approach, the sound of the oil tanker she had "borrowed" from the dock scraping against the street definitely did. Under other circumstances, she might have wondered how its owner would react to what was about to happen. But as it was, she couldn't care less.

"HEY! CUM DUMPSTER! IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO STOP EATING SHIT OUT OF THE SEWER AND DIE!"

The Kaiju known as Otachi stopped digging through rubble and turned to face her.

"You," Otachi said, her voice dripping with venom and incredulity.

"That's right, bitch, me."

The two approached each other. Gipsy readied her makeshift weapon.

"You're supposed to be dead," the Kaiju accused.

"Didn't you get the memo from that glorified dump truck you came here with? I don't go down so easily."

"That thick-headed baboon couldn't tell the difference between a rock and a..." Otachi's voice trailed off. After a moment, her expression changed to one of shock.

"WHERE IS LEATHERBACK?! WHY CAN'T I REACH HIM?! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH HIM?!"

"Nothing the both of you don't deserve!" Gipsy asserted, and took advantage of her momentary confusion to swing the ship at Otachi's head.

"But don't worry, you'll be with him soon!" she assured the Kaiju as she brutally beat her every which way.

"ENOUGH!"

Out of nowhere, the Kaiju's tail wrenched the ship out of her hands and sent it flying to parts unknown.

"FINE! I DON'T NEED A SHIP TO-"

The tail came again, this time knocking her down to the street.

A car alarm sounded next to her. Was there anyone in the history of the world who had ever heard one of those and thought a car was being robbed?

She crushed the annoying thing with her fist and got to her feet just in time to see Otachi retreating.

"HEY! GET BACK HERE AND DIE, SHITBAG!"

Gipsy gave chase, but somehow the Kaiju gave her the slip. Still, that bitch had to be around somewhere. She began searching for signs of her passing. There must have been some kind of craters or crushed objec-

The skyscraper next to her exploded in a shower of glass as a claw pushed her head against the opposing building.

"YOU CUM-SUCKING WHORE!"

Gipsy got a few good punches in, but it wasn't enough to stop the rampaging Kaiju.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT HE WAS TO ME?!" Otachi raged, as she smashed Gipsy into building after building.

"IT WASN'T ENOUGH FOR YOU TO TAKE MY FIRST HUSBAND FROM ME!? YOU HAD TO TAKE MY SECOND, TOO!?"

From the Kaiju's jaws issued forth a blue stream as venomous as her words. Gipsy nimbly dodged just in time to be able to watch it burn a hole in the building behind her.

That gave Gipsy an idea.

"OPEN WIDE, BITCH!"

Gipsy thrust her hand into the Kaiju's mouth and grabbed hold of a sac within her gullet. But before she could start pulling, something snaked around her other arm.

It was Otachi's tail, and the claw at the end was snapping at her head.

The memory of Knifehead's claw came back to her.

Not this time.

"CHILL THE FUCK OUT, SLUT!"

She wasn't sure where she got the idea (probably those parts of herself she so desperately wanted to protect), but she vented some of her coolant onto the Kaiju's tail. It slowed to a halt and became encrusted with ice.

She shattered it as an afterthought.

"NOW, LET'S CLEAN THAT NASTY MOUTH OF YOURS!"

With her free hand, she grasped the Kaiju by the horn and yanked with her other as hard as she could until the acid sac came free.

"Not so tough now, are you, skank?!"

"SHUT UP!"

With a ferocity Gipsy could not have predicted, Otachi pounced, piercing into the Jaeger's back with her toe claws and pushing her to the ground.

"THIS ENDS NOW!" Otachi declared, and unfurled her wings.

Yes, wings.

This Kaiju could _fly_.

Otachi took to the skies, carrying Gipsy along with her.

"PUT ME DOWN, YOU SHITFUCKING CUNT!"

But no matter how much Gipsy fought, the Kaiju held on tight, and continued to gain altitude.

"Do you know what it's like to fall in love?" the Kaiju asked, her voice quieter yet somehow more hateful than ever before. "It's a wonderful thing. I considered myself blessed to have found such a gentleman. And then you took him from me. But I managed to move on and find another."

And then her voice raised up again."BUT THEN YOU TOOK HIM AWAY, TOO! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LOSE EVERYONE YOU'VE EVER CARED ABOUT!?"

She did. The feeling still weighed heavily on her heart.

Or maybe she didn't. Her pilots were still with her. Striker was still alive. The people on that world so far below were still there. For all the good it did her now.

"It won't be long now. Soon, you'll know how Knifehead and Leatherback felt. I only wish I could kill you twice."

Death. That was one feeling she definitely knew already.

To tell the truth, Gipsy wasn't even angry any more. Her plasma cannons weren't working, her coolant was low, and she was tired. Her anger couldn't defeat this beast anyway. And even if it could, a fall from this height would kill her either way.

Her thoughts drifted back to the people on the surface.

Even if she couldn't save herself, something inside told her to fight on.

From her arm came a chain of steel and obsidian. As her will solidified, so too did it, until it became a blade for all of humanity.

"If you miss them so much," she said, "then I'll send you to them."

Her sword sliced into the Kaiju's flesh. There was resistance, to be sure, but it would not stop her.

Otachi roared in pain and confusion.

"Time to split, monster."

"What?! No! NO! I CAN'T DIE HERE, I'M PRE-"

And Gipsy dragged the blade through, cutting the Kaiju in half.

Gravity took hold of her, and soon the ground rose to meet her.

She tried to relax. She had done the best she could. Striker could do the rest. And besides, there was no way she could save herself, right?

But something inside told her differently.

Gipsy, it seemed, had become too good at seeing through her own lies.

Her work was not yet done.

From her chest erupted a plume of flame, propelling her upwards and slowing her descent.

As she finally touched down, buildings and structures around her crumpled or were blown away. Dust obscured everything.

But when it cleared, she stood.

Against all odds, Gipsy was alive. And for the first time in a long time, she felt like it, too.

There was really only one question left in her mind.

"I wonder if they'll let me have those designer boots now..."


	7. A Sudden IQ Jump

"So, it turns out that the rumor about Shira was completely bogus. But that sex tape for Michelle Cohen is completely legit!"

Gipsy had been pestering Striker with gossip for the entire ride. Striker wasn't interested in that kind of thing, but Gipsy kept going nonetheless. After all, she knew from experience that having someone talk to you when you were down meant a lot. Striker seemed to have dealt with her near-death experience much better than Gipsy had (even if none of her pilots had died), but she might still need a bit of cheering up. Besides, Gipsy couldn't just fly in silence, now could she?

"Anyway, can you believe that they didn't even give me a new coat of paint after all that? I mean, double event! And I beat both of them senseless! I really think I deserved something for all of that."

"Don't get cocky," Striker scoffed. "I could have taken them both in a second if my allergies hadn't flared up."

"And I've been waiting years for some new boots! They could have given us a matching set. Wouldn't that have been wonderful?"

Striker sighed. "It's our last mission. New boots would be pointless. Besides, the ones we have now are just fine."

Gipsy pouted. "And that's why you'll never be as fashionable as me."

Striker smiled. "And that's why you'll never have as many kills as me."

"Hey! There's still two kaiju left!"

"And even if you got both of them, you'd still be two short of me."

"No, because then I would have-Oh, right. I feel dumb all of a sudden."

"You're not dumb," Striker asserted. "You just don't bother to think, because you don't take anything seriously. Honestly, I have no idea how you managed to win in Hong Kong with that attitude."

"I guess I'm just that great!" Gipsy replied.

Striker sighed again.

Soon afterwards, the Jumphawks released them, and the final two Jaegers began their trek into the ocean depths.

For the longest time, the two marched in silence. Gipsy decided to give Striker a break and began thinking of all the things that she would do once they retired after this mission. With no need to run simulations or diagnostics, she would have more time for television and social media. Maybe she could even figure out how deactivated Jaegers were able to connect to such things in the first place! Or how pilots could influence Jaegers without being in them! The future held so many possibilities (not to mention the bliss of victory over the Kaiju).

It was a while before she noticed that Striker seemed to be just as deep in thought as she. And her thoughts were probably much more meaningful than Gipsy's.

"Hey, what are you thinking about?"

Striker looked over at her and hesitated for a moment, as if deciding whether or not Gipsy was worthy. Apparently, she was, because Striker began to explain.

"I was thinking about how this is our last mission."

"Yeah, me too! After this, we get to retire to Oblivion Bay!"

"But have you actually thought about what that means?"

"...We get more free time?" Gipsy was confused.

"It means no more fighting Kaiju, no more pilots, no more moving, no more repairs. We sit in our retirement home, celebrate our victory, and slowly fade away."

"Wait, you're not having second thoughts about our mission to destroy the breach with that ugly bomb on your back, are you?" Gipsy questioned, even though she knew the very idea to be absurd. This was what they had been fighting for all this time, after all.

"Of course not! I'm just saying, if you actually think about it, as long as there are Kaiju, they keep fixing us and giving us pilots. Once we win, we lose that. You'd think it would be a bad thing for us. And yet, I still want it, more than anything else. I want to win this, even though it'll end up resulting in our deaths down the road."

The tone of the conversation gave Gipsy pause. Striker usually wasn't this philosophical. Maybe it was the influence of that new pilot she had been given, since one of them had been injured in Hong Kong (but thankfully not killed; Gipsy knew full well the horrors of having a pilot die).

After a moment of thought, Gipsy responded "A short, fulfilling life is better than a long, empty one."

And then the ideas came like a flood.

"Besides, a Jaeger's luck doesn't hold out forever. I should know; mine almost did in Anchorage. Same for you in Hong Kong. Even if we could fight the Kaiju forever, eventually they'd get us. And if they didn't, we'd just keep changing until we weren't ourselves any more. And if we didn't change, well, that wouldn't really be a life at all. And then there's the fact that our memory cores would eventually degrade someday no matter how well they maintained them. So, no matter how we look at it, we can't live forever anyway."

"All very true," Striker agreed.

"And it's not really that weird, when you think about it," Gipsy continued. "Humans do things that shorten their lifespan for the sake of making it more fulfilling all the time. Like sunbathing, or eating more than the bare minimum they need to survive, or running less than twenty miles a day, or letting their skin be exposed to the air. Did you know exposure to air is one of the main causes of skin aging and wrinkles? I read about it in this article the other day."

Striker laughed. "See?"

"See what?"

"You're not so dumb after all."


	8. The Edge of Hope

As they approached the breach, one of the Kaiju circled them just outside their field of view. It was a bit unnerving. But they pushed on, and when they arrived at the breach, both Kaiju were waiting for them.

Gipsy, for one, couldn't be more excited.

"We're here! Now we just need to beat those two, bomb the portal, and we win!"

"Shit, shit, shit!" the Kaiju she understood was called Scunner worried. "That's the chick who took out Leatherback and Otachi! Oh, man, we're dead, we're dead. Game over, man!"

The other Kaiju (which was apparently named Raiju) said nothing, yet seemed to be smugly confident. Nevertheless, hearing that one of the Kaiju was afraid only made Gipsy feel even more certain that victory was at hand.

"So, which one do you want, Striker?" Gipsy asked. "Oh, wait, I think I want to fight the one that's really scared of-"

"Wait, Gipsy, something's not right here!"

"Look, if you want that one, I'm okay taking the other, but it wouldn't be fair for you to get bo-"

"No!" Striker interrupted. "I think there's something else going on here! And if I of all people can hold up for just a second, then so can y-"

And that was when the doorway to Hell itself opened.

"Ohhh... shit," both Jaegers said in stereo.

From the breach's maw came a monster so large, Gipsy could hardly believe it was actually real.

But real it was. From the X-shaped head to the spiked back and all the way to the pointed edge of each of its three tails, there could be no doubt.

This was a category 5.

"Boss! Boss! I'm so glad you're he-I mean, glad you could join us," Scunner told the new Kaiju (which Gipsy somehow knew was named Slattern). "We were about to kill these two on our own, but you can join in if you like."

"I have no patience for your grovelling or cowardice today, worm," Slattern snapped, in a voice that was deep and commanding despite his feminine name. Gipsy couldn't tell if this one was male or female. Maybe both?

The berated Kaiju shuddered and backed away into the murky water, out of sight. Raiju followed, snickering all the way.

"Now, as for you two," Slattern said, turning to the two Jaegers. "I believe it's time to end this."

"Bring it!" Striker challenged, brandishing her swords.

Well, if she was going to attack from the front, then...

Gipsy took a step back. "Striker, I've got an idea. Maybe I can go around behind and-Aah!"

She didn't see the beast coming until the last second, and caught his horns purely by instinct.

Oh, right. There were two other Kaiju. Silly her.

"I've gotcha now!" Scunner proclaimed as he pushed her further and further back. "I got this one on the ropes, boss!"

Gipsy needed a plan, quick.

Well, Striker _had_ been telling her to use her head more...

"You'll never get out of this one! Wait, what are you-OW!" Scunner protested as Gipsy's head impacted his. "Hey, I'm the one who's supposed to-OW!"

"Gipsy, what the hell are you doing?!" Striker yelled.

"What's wrong?" Gipsy questioned as she tossed Scunner aside.

"Your pilots are in your head, you idio-Arghhhh!" Striker scolded before she was unexpectedly interrupted. Gipsy couldn't see what had done it.

"You should worry about yourself," Slattern advised.

Oh, of course. What else could it have been?

Still, Striker's words had merit.

"Yeah, you're probably right. Headbutting Kaiju into submission probably isn't the best strategy."

"...I agree..." Scunner dizzily concurred.

"Just hold on, Striker!" Gipsy called out. "I'll be right there!"

She deployed the sword in her right arm and raised it above her head to strike, ready to finish off the weakened Kaiju before her...

...And felt an all-too-familiar pain, followed by a single word:

"Yoink."

When the world stopped spinning, she saw bits of metal floating around her, and Raiju swimming away with something in his teeth.

She didn't need to look towards her right side to know what was missing. She knew.

She thought she was past this. She thought she had recovered. But in truth, nothing had changed.

"GET BACK HERE YOU ASSFUCKING WHOREMONGER! I'LL RIP OUT YOUR-AGH!"

Her tirade was interrupted by Scunner's fangs sinking into her right leg.

"yo dawg, i accidentally your whole arm. u mad?" Raiju taunted as he swam further and further away, biting her severed arm in half for extra effect.

"THAT'S IT!" Gipsy screamed, as she brought out her second sword and thrust it into the back of Scunner's neck.

"Ow! Pain! Pain hurts!" Scunner complained as Gipsy began dragging him along the seafloor.

"I'LL MELT YOUR FUCKING FACE OFF!" Gipsy screamed, as she dragged the Kaiju's head into a volcanic vent to do just that.

"Ack! Not the face! NOT THE FACE!" Scunner screeched as the heat began to sear his body.

With a mighty effort, the Kaiju managed to yank himself free and retreat.

Now, where was that other one?

She scanned the area and spied him coming at her full speed. He intended to try the same thing again. But that was easily dealt with.

"YOU! GET OVER HERE AND I'LL FEED YOU YOUR OWN SPLEEN!"

"lol. cry more," Raiju replied.

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH! BOTH OF THEM!"

Raiju snickered again as he closed in on her. "Leeeeroooooy!"

"YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?! HERE! TAKE IT!"

That was when she thrust her sword into the oncoming mass of teeth and jaws.

"Well played," Raiju applauded in surprise as the blade rushed to meet him.

And then she carved him in two like a Thanksgiving turkey.

"Uh...Boss?" Scunner asked nervously. "That one that came back from the dead just cut Raiju in half. Could I, like, fight something else, please?"

"SCUNNER!" Slattern roared.

"I'm just saying, maybe we could switch or somethi-"

"LEAVE THAT ONE AND GET OVER HERE!"

"But boss, I-Oh, sure! Right away!"

Gipsy struggled to make out what was going on through the gloom. As far as she could piece together, Striker was somehow holding her own against that monster. She really was incredible.

But could she fight both of them at once?

"HEY, YOU WANT SOME, TOO, EH?! COME AND GET IT!" Gipsy yelled at Scunner, trying desperately to get him to stay there.

"Do you think I'm suicidal?" Scunner replied. "I'm getting as far away from you as I ca-I mean, I'll kill you later. Boss' orders."

"HEY, GET BACK HERE AND FIGHT ME!"

Her challenges fell on deaf ears as Scunner retreated to join the battle with Striker.

Gipsy trudged over as fast as she could, but her crippled leg made the going slow. She couldn't lose Striker too. She had to do something. She had to get there and help.

She could just barely make them all out now. They had all seen better days. But it was still two Kaiju against one Jaeger.

"Striker, hold on!" she said. "I'm on my way!"

"We both know you can't save me, Gipsy," Striker replied coldly. "They're going to kill me, and then you, unless I blow this thing right now."

It took a second for Gipsy to realize what she was saying.

"The bomb?! But we need it to-"

"You're a _walking_ bomb, Gipsy!"

"But-!"

"You can end this, Gipsy! So that no one else has to die fighting these things!"

"Striker, I-!"

The Kaiju were closing in.

"PROMISE ME! PROMISE ME YOU'LL FINISH THIS!"

Gipsy hesitated. The Kaiju were only a body's length away.

"I...Promise."

What else could she say?

"Then I'll see you past Oblivion Bay," Striker said.

The dark sea was filled with light.

And then Gipsy was alone.


	9. The End of Time

The sea was quiet.

Of course. How could Gipsy have forgotten?

The sound of death was silence.

She knew that she needed a Kaiju to get through the breach, but she wasn't quite sure how she knew. She didn't really care, either. In fact, she had a hard time caring about anything right now.

Still, what else could she do?

The last Jaeger grabbed one of the halves of Raiju's corpse and hobbled towards the breach. Soon, this would all be over, and she would never have to feel this way agai-

That was when the seafloor shook, as the Devil himself landed in front of her.

"And so it ends," Slattern remarked, as arrogant as ever.

Gipsy's grip around the Kaiju corpse tightened. Slattern may have been worse for wear (both of his arms were hanging on by a thread), but with her missing arm and crippled leg, Gipsy wasn't exactly presentable either. Still, this could not stand! Not after all that Striker had sacrificed!

"YOU ARROGANT SON OF A SHIT-STAIN, I'LL-!"

"-Do what, exactly?" Slattern prodded. "Take nothing seriously until it's too late, and then get angry? Yes, because that approach has worked out so well for you up until now. Tell me, how many limbs have you lost so far? Two? Or should we count the leg?"

Her grip loosened. As much as she hated to admit it, the monster had a point. Her rage could not defeat this beast.

But that was when Gipsy realized that in her most desperate moments, it was not her anger that had seen her through, but her determination. Her will. Her heart.

Maybe that could defeat the abomination before her.

"It is over," Slattern continued. "You cannot defeat me, and even if you could, my masters would simply send more. The time has come for you and your creators to accept defeat, so that you may at least die with dignity."

That would not happen. Gipsy Danger had formed her resolve. The war would end on her terms.

As the Kaiju corpse fell from her hand, the thrusters on her back roared to life, propelling her through the murky water and tackling the final Kaiju.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Slattern bellowed.

"I'm taking you back to Hell," Gipsy responded, and plunged her chainsword deep into the Kaiju's body.

The momentum of Gipsy's charge thrust the two of them towards the breach.

"Fool!" Slattern yelled as he pierced her back using his tails with reckless abandon. "You will burn for this!"

"You first," she replied, and unleashed the nuclear fires of her heart.

Slattern kicked and screamed as the plume of flame bored its way through his flesh, but there was no escape.

"Burn away, monster," Gipsy said. "Burn away and perish."

The final Kaiju did as it was told.

With the last obstacle defeated, Gipsy's momentum carried her through the breach, into a place like no other. She then retracted her blade and pushed the corpse aside, knowing that she wouldn't be needing it any more.

One of her pilots seemed to be running out of oxygen, so Gipsy ejected her back through the entrance. She didn't need two pilots to fall.

As she descended through the throat, Gipsy marveled at what surrounded her. There was lightning and...clouds? Bones? Tentacles? She saw things she couldn't accurately describe or comprehend.

It really made her think. In hindsight, it was all quite obvious. There was a time for jokes and shoes, and there was a time to put those things aside. But tempting as it was, anger wasn't the right way to solve her problems, either. Her might was in her heart and soul. That was what she needed to follow.

How ironic that she would learn now, moments from the end.

Well, better late than never, she supposed.

As the throat deposited her out into the world of the Kaiju and their masters, Gipsy was not sad. She had regrets, certainly. There were definitely a few things she would have done differently if she had known better. But there was no point in worrying over them. She had made peace with herself, and was okay with the way things were, and how they would be once she was gone.

After all, she had accomplished her life's goal of protecting humanity from the Kaiju. What more could she possibly ask for?

Around her were more clouds, organic cages, and platforms. On one such platform was a group of what she assumed were the Precursors; the creators of the Kaiju.

She activated the countdown to self-destruct, and used her heart to right herself. She wanted to see the look on their faces as they realized that she was about to destroy their entire operation.

With her remaining pilot's job done, she ejected him as well, in the direction of the breach. Though she would die, part of her would also live on in him and the other one.

As the timer reached zero, Gipsy Danger looked the Precursors in the eye and gave her final words:

"The Earth says hi."


End file.
